It's no Lai!

I have survived!

I have survived!

So I’ve spent the better part of a week finishing up my college applications, my entire winter break worrying about college applications, and the last few months in a very deep state of denial about my future. But now that I’m done I feel I can speak rather knowledgeably on the topic (or throw out generalized assumptions haphazardly enough that people think I know what I’m talking about! It is how teenagers work).

And I believe I’ve come up with a [completely original, and not in any way stolen from the stages of grief] process which all high school seniors can relate to as this year comes to a close.

Except for you, Tina.

1. Denial and Isolation

2. Anger

Sometimes I misplace my frustration. And then this is what happens to my friends.

3. Bargaining

Here is what happened the first few days of winter break every time I used the computer.
- Check email
- Spend 1-2 hours on Facebook
- Watch episodes of my favorite shows on Hulu
- Check email again
- Decide that I have spent the previously-decided three hours of Internet on leisurely activities, and that now it is time to begin working on apps, like I told myself I would.
- Type “www.commonapp.o” into the address bar
- Erase “www.commonapp.o” from the address bar
- Read the College Confidential forums neurotically for three hours, begin to believe I am never going to college.

4. Depression

I felt a rather great deal of remorse after turning in my applications.
It actually gets pretty grotesque.

5. Acceptance

Not so much the “from college” kind of acceptance, just the acceptance that I can’t do anything about my applications now. But I haven’t been letting my brain atrophy, oh no! I’ve been keeping it quite active… reading. Reading what, exactly? Oh, you know, nothing much. Polished off a fourth of “Amusing Ourselves to Death” today at Borders.

…also reading and having these kinds of discussions about Harry Potter fanfiction:

…and playing FarmVille.

JUST LET ME BE.

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